its what we choose.... be careful of what you ask for....

day in day out,
nowadays i realised have stopped whining.
good for me and also to the ones beside me.
less negativity for everyone there.

till now, i couldnt believe myself that even when i brought
myself to a situation that could drain their life out,
but yet somehow i have manage to keep my cool.

This is way cool that might lead my dad or my mom into
annoyance.
Realised they don't prefer me when i am carefree,
but instead when i'm panicking and raising everybodys
blood pressure around.

When i sit and contemplate,
i realise things around me happen because i belive that
such a disaster would occur.
Leaving no self assurance that everything will be all right.

Thats why elders say, what we think is what we are.
worrying would only divert our energy to what we are not.
Sometimes leading us astray of our true path.
I get more wiser now.

For now am asking for everything to be crystal clear,
and peace for each and everyone of us( including me).
Grateful for everything that i have!
peace!!

takes time

today, walla!
i got  a way good lecture from dad.
And i dare say he IS right, in the sense that i am being ignorant.
and i made a pact within myself to change .

Come to think of why i'm, being such is do to my past when i realised that
when too much care given still you won't be appreciated.
got hurt badly, and was lied too.
And the best part all this coming from one of ur parents, will sure to crumble ur world into dust.
Hope lost,fear fills in, self-esteem gets lowered.
From that perfect daughter, to one who is childish or immature, as all the others called.
There were times i wished so badly i had someone to guide me out of it, instead of suffering it in silence.
I wanted to talk about to someone, without getting myself or the person involved judged, as
well... realised my brothers dont talk about it, i became even more cold.
i rarely trust anyone at that point.
because emotionally getting hurt by ur mom makes u even more affraid of getting too close with anyone.
then there is my lazy attitude, and yes naivity,which occured out of stubborness.
all the while i was thinkin bout the one who with or without realising made me sad, and hopeless, forgetting bout the other parent who was there all the while, showering with love, good words.
i didnt mean to compare them, their conflicting and complicating relationship ~i love both of them, by all means would love for them to be together again..... but as it seem none will get happier....
so off this goes to the dump!!!! i want to be somebody that i used to be!

i appologize to all my friends for what i was, if i had hurt u guys...

for those who have put up with me for all these times, i am incapable of saying thank you,as it is just not enough.

soo i cut the sad sentiment here.... and move on.... ;)
no more playing joker and hesitator.

the opposite of me~

for it is God's work,
 or our's.
magic felt
that enlightens,
energizes.


the more glimpsed
talked
listened
the happier, vibrant
and positive.


Everything at that time works,
evrything at the moment gives joy and succes.
its pure as an infant,
a smile of those gives warmth...
~love~

believe

when you believe in something,

do so with all your heart;

let it swell and fill your heart;

for then it will,

transforms into reality.

But hold back,

on what you think and believe in;

as it should never,

hurt,

or kill others.

It shouldnt be for maliciousness,

for they'll be turned against you.

Believe in things that are

wholesome and good,

things that clears your thoughts,

believe in things that you feel right,

that which makes others happy,

that which gives peace.

just believe.....

thinkin, thinkin.....

i'm thinking bout this,
i'm thinking bout that,
i'm thinking bout them,
i'm thinking bout me,
i'm thinking bout him,
i'm thinking bout her,
i'm thinking bout everyone,
i'm thinking bout none,
i'm thinking bout dignity,
i'm thinking bout time,
i'm thinking bout life,
i'm thinking bout death,
and i went on ..
thinking bout that place and this place..
thinking bout home,
thinking bout school,
thinking bout responsibilities,
thinking bout lazing,
thinking bout everything....
but to be honest these thoughts just banish,
when i'm exhausted,
after doing this, and doing that,
listening to this and listening to that...
but that too doesn't sum up,
bout who i am, and what i am..
cause in the end the heart just runs back to truth..
not the assumptions.
might slip out on something but that doesnt mean its not in my heart!

Who to blame???

another question pops into my head..

so much for listening...

started to wonder why things happen in  such a way, sometime it just baffles me.


WE all face problems day to day, ever wondered where it started from..

i Assume i have the answer for it, but please dont get dissapointed with it.

WE complain, and we blame either ourselves or others for whatever mistakes that happens.
Yes it is true that somebody made the mistake, but is that somebody totally to be blamed for
everything?
i think not.

the trigger factor will not be as visible as everyone thinks, it just comes around to that specific
person by some chain of communication. This thing applies to every aspects of our lives even our country..

one little imperfection, causes another imperfection.. then it grows and grows and grows..

let have an example here...

say, selmolina, has some works to do, and has its designated datelines...
and before anything , she was being hitten with severe misfortunes,
well which for others might look like she's just giving some lame old excuses.
but, well the real stuff...
will baffle everyone, as how one minor thing thats unrelated will cause some great effect.
but this doesnt mean that WE can go on blaming others..

look at it this way,
everyone around contributed something to that problem..
without realising...

ANOTHER MUCH CLEARER EXAMPLE, AS THE PREVIOUS IS  VAGUE..

lets take married couples,

they one day started a huge arguement...
well.. why?
it started from their miscommunication due to intepreting each other wrongly,
then decide to console to their friends, or respective families..
the third party here, might not know what is this couple's real issue,
and will resort on one of the better half's complaint...
though this is not wise, do the third party has any choise......
well they can choose to ignore,
or symphatise the involved person,
or give advice..or support them.

with all these, the couple grabs the third parties point of view,
they didnt realise that what is needed is straightening the issue by
being able to comminicate well, and not assuming on the other person's reaction.

When these couple meet, they react coldly to each other,
even further damaging the relationship,
another reason for a the huge arguement...

when they argue, all sorts off things comes out to surface,
usually things that could have been talked out quitely without getting angry.
then when the whole arguement ends, they'll try to find where it went wrong.
and usually tries to gey someone to blame, either themselves,
or the surrounding, or their friends or familiy.

somebody will be blamed, but, the real truth is everyone played their role
in the incident.
 They'll keep blaming each other, as they fail to learn why such a thing occured in the first place.

This thing doesn't just stops with this couple but also the people surrounding them.
then the cycle grows, and grows and grows....

Tedious???

well everything that seems simple is complex,
and everything that seems complex is just plain simple....

the wise survives in such matters, as not to let it gain control over their
thoughts and feelings...
they analyse, and read through....
not judge it...

so who is really to be blamed???

nobody and everybody at the same time....

Think about it,
we'll be more forgiving and understanding to others,
and also wiser.

they might assume you to be hypocritical..
but its your choice to choose to look at the bigger picture..

as no path is wrong nor right...
unless the intention is malicious..

to avoid... might not be easy,
but to protect and to understand..
its simple...

listen to what people say, and dont assume their thoughts
as we are not them and they are not us...
minds differ... though soul doesn't.
peace! ;)

does true love exist???

This question was posted by one of my friend in facebook.

Well i thought about it, and of course my answer for the
question was impulsively a yess!!It does exist.
So much for all the non-believers and haters,
i'll give the clear picture why it exist.

If u want to define love, then it is a nuturing and caring feeling that
exist in everyone, since the day we were born, actually since the day we actually take form.
We are the product of love. For some it might not have started out the same, but
most of us were brought in to this world with alots of love.

Our parents poured out their love to us,
and then we started to show them that we love them as well.

Love has its stages, it grows with us, just as how we keep aging and maturing,
And at every stages one gets more matured on the things that they love.

The pace will be different for each and every individuals,
we cant compare with others, because
all of us are individuals varying in physical attributes and also characteristics.
Therefore that sums up why some of us incapable of understanding things,
but ends up hurting themselves or others. But somehow mistakes are to
be corrected. And if we dont, god will assign his folks to make us to do so.

True love, shared with our siblings,
true love that we share with our friends
and also our family members and lover.
and above all ourselves and god!

Whenever we show love honestly without pride,
without hatred and ego, and also lust,
well what is there to conclude but,
to say that it will last for a life time.

True love, comes from us only when we stop expecting from others,
and when we start to give, love and cherish and make the other person,
let it be our parents, siblings, other family members, friends, lover and for all
the other relationship that ceased to exist in this planet earth.

Be loyal, make them special, because all of us are!
Love yourself most, then you'll learn how to love the others..
well this one coming out from me surprisingly,
i will change about putting my ownself down though.








So to sum it all up, true love is everywhere
when we start to notice it, begin by giving first!

let love, be loved, give love, share love, and love always..

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my two beloved niece and nephew ;)