The Core

The word core means the centre, the innermost, or the fundamental. In humans, what is our core?
Is it our heart?
our brain?
what is it?In living a blissful life what is the essentials?
what is the way of living?
Many have different opinions and ideas on this but here i would like to present what my perceptions on these, based on the 22 plus years of living my life as i am.

The core to humans is our soul. Its very light, its simple. When we have such a simple core, why are we living in complications?
As i would like to say, these troubles that we bring forth or assume to be troublesome are just some thoughts thats being brought  up by our minds. See our mind is the most powerful machine that we have ever come across but yet we fail to aknowledge this. Why?  because we underestimate it.

Taughts that are fear based only creates more one fear... and its the subject of our taught that creates the reality for us.  when all our aim is to be helpful to each other, we in the meantime want to make ourselves to appear good. What we didn't realise is that no matter how much we try to cover up on our deed, things are done for good and so to rationalise it wouldn't be wise but to live the remaining or the new life that we have created truthfully is the one that matters the most.

The core/essence of us human being is in the truth. The more we hide from it, there more misrable we would be. But if come to accept ourselves, then we would come to accept the truth in life, and thus avoiding agony, and inviting more joy, peace, safety and security. Without us accepting ourselves first, then how can others do so??...this is something that everyone should ponder on and to realise what would they want to be, instead of worrying about what they have already done..

Life would be forgiving to us, if we forgive first,
as everything begins in us.....

saying grace

to all the people whom i have met in my 23 years of life... officially at 3.43pm... :P
thank you... for stepping into my life and made it beautiful  and wonderful...

my life would be boring without you guys...
helped me to create my characters and whatever i have and believe in!

above all.. thanks to my parents... where would i be without them??
and my six precious brothers, whom are my source of inspiration..
next... to my other family members... then my BFFs!!!

my uni mates!!.... my school friends ... my ex-colloeuges.....

my crushes!!!..... and my lost friends....... camp friends.....kindy friends......thank you all....
^^................

and to people whom i have met at random places.. who taught me of simple things in life, thank you!!

its what we choose.... be careful of what you ask for....

day in day out,
nowadays i realised have stopped whining.
good for me and also to the ones beside me.
less negativity for everyone there.

till now, i couldnt believe myself that even when i brought
myself to a situation that could drain their life out,
but yet somehow i have manage to keep my cool.

This is way cool that might lead my dad or my mom into
annoyance.
Realised they don't prefer me when i am carefree,
but instead when i'm panicking and raising everybodys
blood pressure around.

When i sit and contemplate,
i realise things around me happen because i belive that
such a disaster would occur.
Leaving no self assurance that everything will be all right.

Thats why elders say, what we think is what we are.
worrying would only divert our energy to what we are not.
Sometimes leading us astray of our true path.
I get more wiser now.

For now am asking for everything to be crystal clear,
and peace for each and everyone of us( including me).
Grateful for everything that i have!
peace!!

takes time

today, walla!
i got  a way good lecture from dad.
And i dare say he IS right, in the sense that i am being ignorant.
and i made a pact within myself to change .

Come to think of why i'm, being such is do to my past when i realised that
when too much care given still you won't be appreciated.
got hurt badly, and was lied too.
And the best part all this coming from one of ur parents, will sure to crumble ur world into dust.
Hope lost,fear fills in, self-esteem gets lowered.
From that perfect daughter, to one who is childish or immature, as all the others called.
There were times i wished so badly i had someone to guide me out of it, instead of suffering it in silence.
I wanted to talk about to someone, without getting myself or the person involved judged, as
well... realised my brothers dont talk about it, i became even more cold.
i rarely trust anyone at that point.
because emotionally getting hurt by ur mom makes u even more affraid of getting too close with anyone.
then there is my lazy attitude, and yes naivity,which occured out of stubborness.
all the while i was thinkin bout the one who with or without realising made me sad, and hopeless, forgetting bout the other parent who was there all the while, showering with love, good words.
i didnt mean to compare them, their conflicting and complicating relationship ~i love both of them, by all means would love for them to be together again..... but as it seem none will get happier....
so off this goes to the dump!!!! i want to be somebody that i used to be!

i appologize to all my friends for what i was, if i had hurt u guys...

for those who have put up with me for all these times, i am incapable of saying thank you,as it is just not enough.

soo i cut the sad sentiment here.... and move on.... ;)
no more playing joker and hesitator.

the opposite of me~

for it is God's work,
 or our's.
magic felt
that enlightens,
energizes.


the more glimpsed
talked
listened
the happier, vibrant
and positive.


Everything at that time works,
evrything at the moment gives joy and succes.
its pure as an infant,
a smile of those gives warmth...
~love~

believe

when you believe in something,

do so with all your heart;

let it swell and fill your heart;

for then it will,

transforms into reality.

But hold back,

on what you think and believe in;

as it should never,

hurt,

or kill others.

It shouldnt be for maliciousness,

for they'll be turned against you.

Believe in things that are

wholesome and good,

things that clears your thoughts,

believe in things that you feel right,

that which makes others happy,

that which gives peace.

just believe.....

thinkin, thinkin.....

i'm thinking bout this,
i'm thinking bout that,
i'm thinking bout them,
i'm thinking bout me,
i'm thinking bout him,
i'm thinking bout her,
i'm thinking bout everyone,
i'm thinking bout none,
i'm thinking bout dignity,
i'm thinking bout time,
i'm thinking bout life,
i'm thinking bout death,
and i went on ..
thinking bout that place and this place..
thinking bout home,
thinking bout school,
thinking bout responsibilities,
thinking bout lazing,
thinking bout everything....
but to be honest these thoughts just banish,
when i'm exhausted,
after doing this, and doing that,
listening to this and listening to that...
but that too doesn't sum up,
bout who i am, and what i am..
cause in the end the heart just runs back to truth..
not the assumptions.
might slip out on something but that doesnt mean its not in my heart!

Who to blame???

another question pops into my head..

so much for listening...

started to wonder why things happen in  such a way, sometime it just baffles me.


WE all face problems day to day, ever wondered where it started from..

i Assume i have the answer for it, but please dont get dissapointed with it.

WE complain, and we blame either ourselves or others for whatever mistakes that happens.
Yes it is true that somebody made the mistake, but is that somebody totally to be blamed for
everything?
i think not.

the trigger factor will not be as visible as everyone thinks, it just comes around to that specific
person by some chain of communication. This thing applies to every aspects of our lives even our country..

one little imperfection, causes another imperfection.. then it grows and grows and grows..

let have an example here...

say, selmolina, has some works to do, and has its designated datelines...
and before anything , she was being hitten with severe misfortunes,
well which for others might look like she's just giving some lame old excuses.
but, well the real stuff...
will baffle everyone, as how one minor thing thats unrelated will cause some great effect.
but this doesnt mean that WE can go on blaming others..

look at it this way,
everyone around contributed something to that problem..
without realising...

ANOTHER MUCH CLEARER EXAMPLE, AS THE PREVIOUS IS  VAGUE..

lets take married couples,

they one day started a huge arguement...
well.. why?
it started from their miscommunication due to intepreting each other wrongly,
then decide to console to their friends, or respective families..
the third party here, might not know what is this couple's real issue,
and will resort on one of the better half's complaint...
though this is not wise, do the third party has any choise......
well they can choose to ignore,
or symphatise the involved person,
or give advice..or support them.

with all these, the couple grabs the third parties point of view,
they didnt realise that what is needed is straightening the issue by
being able to comminicate well, and not assuming on the other person's reaction.

When these couple meet, they react coldly to each other,
even further damaging the relationship,
another reason for a the huge arguement...

when they argue, all sorts off things comes out to surface,
usually things that could have been talked out quitely without getting angry.
then when the whole arguement ends, they'll try to find where it went wrong.
and usually tries to gey someone to blame, either themselves,
or the surrounding, or their friends or familiy.

somebody will be blamed, but, the real truth is everyone played their role
in the incident.
 They'll keep blaming each other, as they fail to learn why such a thing occured in the first place.

This thing doesn't just stops with this couple but also the people surrounding them.
then the cycle grows, and grows and grows....

Tedious???

well everything that seems simple is complex,
and everything that seems complex is just plain simple....

the wise survives in such matters, as not to let it gain control over their
thoughts and feelings...
they analyse, and read through....
not judge it...

so who is really to be blamed???

nobody and everybody at the same time....

Think about it,
we'll be more forgiving and understanding to others,
and also wiser.

they might assume you to be hypocritical..
but its your choice to choose to look at the bigger picture..

as no path is wrong nor right...
unless the intention is malicious..

to avoid... might not be easy,
but to protect and to understand..
its simple...

listen to what people say, and dont assume their thoughts
as we are not them and they are not us...
minds differ... though soul doesn't.
peace! ;)

does true love exist???

This question was posted by one of my friend in facebook.

Well i thought about it, and of course my answer for the
question was impulsively a yess!!It does exist.
So much for all the non-believers and haters,
i'll give the clear picture why it exist.

If u want to define love, then it is a nuturing and caring feeling that
exist in everyone, since the day we were born, actually since the day we actually take form.
We are the product of love. For some it might not have started out the same, but
most of us were brought in to this world with alots of love.

Our parents poured out their love to us,
and then we started to show them that we love them as well.

Love has its stages, it grows with us, just as how we keep aging and maturing,
And at every stages one gets more matured on the things that they love.

The pace will be different for each and every individuals,
we cant compare with others, because
all of us are individuals varying in physical attributes and also characteristics.
Therefore that sums up why some of us incapable of understanding things,
but ends up hurting themselves or others. But somehow mistakes are to
be corrected. And if we dont, god will assign his folks to make us to do so.

True love, shared with our siblings,
true love that we share with our friends
and also our family members and lover.
and above all ourselves and god!

Whenever we show love honestly without pride,
without hatred and ego, and also lust,
well what is there to conclude but,
to say that it will last for a life time.

True love, comes from us only when we stop expecting from others,
and when we start to give, love and cherish and make the other person,
let it be our parents, siblings, other family members, friends, lover and for all
the other relationship that ceased to exist in this planet earth.

Be loyal, make them special, because all of us are!
Love yourself most, then you'll learn how to love the others..
well this one coming out from me surprisingly,
i will change about putting my ownself down though.








So to sum it all up, true love is everywhere
when we start to notice it, begin by giving first!

let love, be loved, give love, share love, and love always..

.

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my two beloved niece and nephew ;)

peace be with everyone

just when i wanted to get started with my things,
something else bad will pop out from nowhere
and deprive off my patience, energy and
turn my positive auora into a bad one!

what have i done in my past life,
did i torture people,
torment them till
i cant even find myself doing what i want
without getting interupted or
without getting my mood for the whole week spoiled.

with so much said,
i'm resorting to read the bhagavad gita again!

LORD KRISHNA SAVE ME PLEASE!!

caught in the middle

i'm still have not pass my assignment to my lecturer yet!
haiz, what am i to do.
when i realise how shalow my content was, i just got to
correct it... improvise to be exact!

Could not help being late. The impulviseness in me
that made me decide not to send in my already completed
assignment. The need for perfection.

I don't mind working alone, but the word perfect got to
fit in to my work. It has to be good.

Hard news and soft newss...
distinguishing them is easy,
reasoning out.. well
it must be written out appropriately.

blissful..

Well, that is what the word to describe the exhibition i attended the day before  yesterday with  ker ray. Spontaneous, i didn't bring my camera with me. It was organised by the Sogo gakkai again but only this time collaborating with the counseling club.

It was a good escapade for me, from all the things thats been bugging me for the past month, family,friends, life, my acedemics, my health. It just brought me back to sence, and thanks to ker ray for bringing me there.

So what did i learn from the exhibition?.. well it was all about self reflection.
I drifted back to what i usually do best long long time ago..
which was ... (i cant put this down properly, but i'll try  ;) )
learning on  religions.....     !
mostly on hinduism, islam, and christianity, so budhism is something new for me..
though it has its similarity with hinduism, i dare say that it is more... delicate in the aspect of praying and the practise of the religion. Compared to hinduism which can be agressive at times and also hefty.

more on peace talk...
i love peace, i myself love what they were preaching..(if thats the right word)..
just pure nothingness is heavenly.
Sometimes people might not agree with what i'm saying but this is what i feel,
and i do respect others believe because every single thing that ceased to exist in this world
has it's own reason of existing. ( this one out of the topic)

Was the exhibition nice? yes

it just brought out the hippy in me...

may everyone be blessed and be graced by god.. :)

peace yo!...

10 Life Lessons from Dad~ by readers digest~

really needs to put it down here in the 
blog as well as forwarding this via email!

1.You will be lucky if you can count your true, loyal friends on one hand, and two of those will always be your parents. 
-- Patrick Maguire


2. If you can't remember where you parked, don't drive! -- Carrie Trosper-Loos


3. Be so strong that no one can disturb your peace of mind, be too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble. -- Rafi Ud Din Shamas


4. Suck it up because somebody else has always got it worse than you! -- Jackie Moninger Hatcher


5. Save your money. Don't be frivolous. Long term benefits always supersede short term satisfaction. -- Jenny Sondag Heddens


6. Eat fish, it'll make you smarter. -- Sihui Vice


7. Always shake with a firm handshake. I cannot tell you how many times I have shaken someone's hand firmly only for them to reciprocate. It shows confidence! -- Heather Hernandez


8. Never be a bootlicker. Show people that you have self-respect -- Imelda Valderrama-Otto




9. Not everything in life can always be fun. -- Kari Sanborn


10. Don't settle for anything that does not make you happy and proud to be with. -- Dawn O'Connor

~NOTABLE QUOTES ON WISDOM~

Have fun reading em,
and using em,
hope it will make everyone reading feel better,
it did worked for me...



To love what you do and feel that it matters



How could anything be more fun?


~Catherine Graham~



The weak can never forgive.



Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.


~Mahatma Gandhi~



Acceptance gives me the experience of being like an angel:



Never judging, never criticizing and never worrying.


~unknown~



We would never learn to be brave and patient



If there were only joy in the world.


~Helen Keller~



I think of life as a good book. The further you get



Into it, the more it begins to make sense.


~Harold S. Kushner~



The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until



They are too strong to be broken.


~Samuel Johnson~




A man may fail many times but he isn't a failure until



He begins to blame somebody else.


~John Burroughs~



Your success and happiness lies in you. Resolve to keep happy,


And your joy, and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.


~Helen Keller~



An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes


Which can be made, in a narrow field.


~Niels Bohr~





Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a


Waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.


~Dale Carnegie~






We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing ,


While others judge us by what we have already done.


~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow~






There is no such thing in anyone's life as an


Unimportant day.


~Alexander Woollcott~


have a nice day people ;)

here at the junction 2

so what is my decision?
i want to do journalism, but still..
i kept asking for more opinions from friends and lecturers around.

WHY???
 cause it gives me different perspectives on what other choices that might exsist..

what other choises i thought off?

1. well this one radical, quit studying for time being and then work..disagreed by my dad.. stronglyy!!
2. go for other uni's... but what differences does it make anyway!
3. what else.. hmm....help dad.. dats all.. but he has disagreed on this also, STRONGLY...

CONCLUSION?
whatelse, do journalism larr..
hehe, by the way i have already received my offer letter.. and i'll be attending my classes
starting on today!! ;)
i'll prayy and put my effort to do well,
you guys pray for me to and bless me!!

Here At the Junction again..
which way to take?
 I am getting in to my bad habit again,
wondering what is my bad habit?
well i think too much,
i don't decide things easily.
 OkaY to get things straight.
 I've got terminated for the second time from completing my degree in chemistry

Reason?
Low pointer.
So i asked my self, what should i do?
the first thing that flashed into my mind
when i first saw my result was ohh no not again!
then atleast i could do anything else regarding books,
essays and articles...
JOURNALISMM..
well thats one option, what about my one and a half year spent on
my chemy, i felt disheartened...
WHATS NEXT???

i went to my dads counsel..
 his wise words were...
choose what you are really good,
what has been wasted, is gone,
now think about what you can do now....
and i was like WHAT???
appa.. after all that!
AND he was like..
you didn't take your vitamins properly,
what do you expect!
' you are weak anyway, but your not dumb!!'
gee, pa thanks..
~already weeping inside, god, the damage i did to
my dad~
well dad is still dad,
he still gives me all the encouraging words that i needed..
everytime he does that,
i will always come up with something good, or great.
I love you appa!!

next my beloved cousin sister that i have been idolising since i was a babyy
```and she really srewed me on the phone...
duh!! if she doesnt then, who will right??
she is my sis anyway!! cousin or not..
i dont know why, but when she starts to talk i'll just listen
and agree with her with whatever she is telling.
hey, she have a lot of point !!
its soo tough not to agree with her, it makes sense.
her comments were..
1. you aRE irresponsible..
you know you are the eldest of them all, and eldest dont have the luxury to do such mistakes!!
(agree)
2. You have just wasted everything, i've told you before right that you are not suited for this and you are better off doing on language!
aND your results were like shit..(she only mentioned it when i told her that my result was like shit)
3. lemme put this straight to you  stop agreeing  with everything!! its like u dont listen and just nodding to whatever everyone has got to say..( but everything has a point)
4. atleast you realiseed now!!
your still young, better do what you are passionate about and not on what other people have to say!
5.this is not the nineteenth century... u dont just marryy..( totally, i'm with her!! )


to be continued....................

Guide Me...

I don't know where  You Goin to lead me God..
But please let me out off this misery,
no more pain,
i have borne too many till i cant shed my sorrows in tears,
i dont want to be in idleness,
NEVER ever going to be idle..

Why after a long journey to the destination,
you have to turn my path,
was what i gave insufficient..
its too much to bear..
And i despise wastages,
and yet here i am wasted...

My elders told me that You have a plan for me..
but what is thy plan?
i cant bear to pull them in,
to my troubles, but then ...
i've did, now bearing the burden with me,
with broken hearts but a whole lot of hope and happiness they gave..
why them?
its not even their battle..

what shall i do now?
i dont want to rot in pittiness and sadness,
i want to change,
to help,
to heal but..
alas i myself wounded...

But now, leave em behind, to wlk ahead,
praying this time,
come what may,
You will be there to Help and Guide,
and lead me to happiness and joy,
away from sorrow.....

i want success, i want transparency,
i want purity....
because i know i Deserve them...
and i shall share my lot with others whom will be needing it,
without sacrifising myself anymore..
without miscomunication without misunderstanding..

For all the love, grace and blessing You give me,
i will share..
and make myself useful.

Guide me to my destiny, which is away from melancholy,
where my heart breaks not anymore...
where i am appreciated,
where i appreciate..
Where i can carry out the task given to me Diligently.

Awaiting for people to agree with me,
as much  i agree with them.
and believe..

dear granny..this is kind of selfish..

to my beloved gramma,

Though you are not here with us anymore, your memory still lingers in our head. Or maybe in my head. Love you so much, miss all the fights we had, gossips, and our own crazy adventres. Most of all i miss taking care of you. I miss lying on your lap, its not the same when i lay my head on moms or periammas' thats because you are way close to me than any one of them. I miss irritating you. I love to watch your expressions, my lovely gramma!!

I am honoured, because you choose to tell me all your secrets and 'good old days' stories . I realised then that you really sacrificed yourself alot for this family, and yeah, i will keep my promise to you to keep everyone together no matter what happen. That is my responsibility. I will also, live up to what you want me to become, a woman with ethics and integrity. A strong woman, just like you. Thank you for being proud of me. Just like you said i will also make appa proud of me...

Thank you for the days you supported me and gave me words of encouragements when i was down. When no one cared and bothered you showered me with love and care and alots of courage.

My crazy  lady,

You were fun to be around with. Love hugging and kissing you. Wish others in the family realised this before you went, but then now is too late, and i am lucky to be around you! You really took over mom's place. I guess your absence now is for me to learn to bond with her, and the others.

Miss all the good and bad times we had together, i hate when you were sick. That spoiled all the fun.

You were one rocking paati!! i know i should have let go of you then, but i wasn't able to because i couldn't make myself to except the fact that you are no longer here...

 But now, i can let go, but your voice still can be heard, whenever i am down, sad, happy, or angry or even when i was about to give up.... i hear you.... asking me to move forward, asking me to think, reminding me of myself and my abilities.

 i love you....

                                                                     yours sincerely,

                                                                       ThanamKutti

                                                                                                                            

n i can't help.....

Wondering at home waiting for my darling cousin to come as she wanted me to help her with her essays.Well she didn't turn up. I got bored of waiting, in the midst of a very tight week i made up
my mind to assist her and there i was wrecking my nerves. I've got to do something i realize.

bother calling her, the first thing that i saw was this nice  looking long slim scissors,...
only one thing came to my mind!
the temptation was too strong for me to resist, and ...
NO, i didn't attempt to cut myself, but instead, a vision of me with a much shorter hair came.
without giving a second thought, i took the scissor, and then parted my hair nicely,like just the way i wan't them to be then.......
snip, snip, snip.....
my little locks, falling helplessly into the ground...
there, walla!
i got what i wanted!!
took a good shower again, and relax...
i totally forgot about my sister, only when i check my phone,
i found out she sent message that she can't make it, and might ask for help some other time an hour ago!!
well!!
thank her, if not i wouldn't be tempted to do such a thing!!
hmm...........
but thats how my day went!
;)
can't help posing for the camera.....

all i ever need is a pair of long white, lustrous fangs....

to completye the look...

hehehehehehe.......

not so ghastly looking!

      much better!

my fetish....welcoming the new member in

shoe,shoes,shoes,shoes.....
from jimmy choos to the prada, guess, dior.... gucci....to the normal ones. vinnci, nose, chadstone...
there are soo many brands.

i love heels, wedges, stilletoes...
the list goes on and on.





the peep toe,....
my dad suggested me to get a red peep toed pump
but then.... did i listen..
no!
this looks preety...
and the red pump was too red!

 it didn't hurt when i was weraing them and trying out when at home..

but then, poor, poor feet of revathi got marks

 i think i didn't get the right one...
but thats okay, i still love heels,
thinking bout adding more into my collections...
this never gonna stop me! :)

here and back again.......

Here n back againSaid the wise,
Life is in the same shape as our earth,
Towards our inanity the wise sighs,
Why these fools chase when they , to the same place cometh.


Giving in to the false façade,
Forgetting all the essential values,
They locked themselves up in the name of civilization,
In the end turning themselves to hooligans,
Forgotten the values of true human,
Inherited the core of the beast.


For how long this race will go on,
For what this game being played,
There’s no winner in it,
Nor there will be any losers,
Yet!
We keep chasing ourselves in the same circle…..


Could not everyone ponder over this,
Hold that thought again,
Pause;
What do we do now.....
Just Pray For Everything ....
Live it to the Great One..

While we can,
be appreciative and greatful for everything..
self acceptance leads to a life filled with ,
love, peace, harmony..............